Shit Girls Say and Do [Like Myself]

12241023_10205282108158234_4990108787148532772_o.jpg

I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I say some pretty stupid shit. In the moment, I feel like it’s fine. But reflecting later on, I’m like, “Seriously Amanda!?”

Well, I wanna talk about it. Let it out. Share some of the stuff that myself, my friends, and most likely other women say or do behind closed doors.

So, with that said, here are eleven examples.

Can you give me his number?

This one makes me laugh. I hate to admit it, but I’ve done it so many times.

When you like someone, it’s natural to want to talk and communicate. When you’re sober, you have control over the amount of times you reach out to the guy. You can censor yourself. You can hold back.

But when you’re drunk? Game over.

That’s why often times I’ll do the responsible thing before I go out and delete a guys’ number. I’ll give his digits to a friend and then get them the next day when it’s safe and my self-control has returned.

But, that strategy doesn’t always work. More times than I would like to admit, I’ve reached out to said friend with, “Can you pleeeeeease give me his number? I promise I won’t regret this tomorrow.”

I’ve also had friends change guys’ names in my phone. One dude was once labeled as, “Tomato Salad.” So you can imagine my confusion when I got a text the next morning from tomato salad asking how my night was.

Is this a fat mirror?

Recently, a friend and I were working out and she asked me, “Is this a fat mirror?” I laughed a little and made fun of her, because it’s such a ridiculous thing to say. But the truth is, I’ve asked the same question about a thousand times.

A couple minutes after she questioned the mirror’s authenticity, I also checked myself out. Immediately my amusement morphed into shock as I saw my body in the mirror. I responded by saying, “It better fricken be a fat mirror.”

Will you like my Insta/Facebook post?

Guilty of this one!

Is this Snapchat ok?

I’ve recently upped my Snapchat game, and man let me tell ya, it is exhausting.

I wish I could say I’m one of those chicks that takes a snap and just puts it up, but I’m not. Selfies? Yeah that stuff takes like at least three tries. Snaps with your friends? Ugh, kill me now. You gotta make sure you both look good. Oops, your friends’ eyes are shut. Crap, her pimple’s showing. Ugh, the filter makes me look bad. Damn, I’ve got a lazy eye.

Ya, that shit ain’t easy.

So naturally, one of the things girls commonly ask one another is, “Does this snap look ok?”

What do you think his text means?

Oh lawd, I could go on forever with this one.

Finally, I am at a point where I feel comfortable just doin’ me with the whole texting game. But with that said, I have for sure gone through phases where I had to screenshot every single text message with a guy and send it to my friends and ask them their thoughts. Same goes for things like, “What should I say back?” “Was my response ok?” “How long should I wait to text back?”

Stop while you are ahead. Not worth it. Plus games are stupid.

Is this too slutty?

In our early twenties, I feel like we could pull off the short, skin-tight Forever 21 kinds of dresses. Stiletto heels, boobs pushed up all the way, clumps of makeup, the whole nine yards. Hell, three years ago, I was strutting around in sleeveless dresses that barely covered my butt during the dead of winter with no coat or tights on, waiting in lines with my friends for the clubs and shivering my ass off. Thought I was cool.

But now? That stuff does not fly. I mean we’re not at grandma status having to wear turtle necks and stockings under our pants (Side Note: My grandmothers are very fashion-forward and do not wear such things) but we can’t really pull off those skanky little black dresses like we used to.

But with that said, on those nights that we are feelin’ real good about how we look and want to show off a tad bit more skin, it’s common for us to ask our friends, “Is this too slutty?”

Did we have sex too soon?

Oh yah, we ask this one a lot. Especially with us sensitive ladies. After having sex with a guy we are into, many of us tend to get in our heads a bit. Was it too soon? Do you think all he wanted was sex? Should I have played harder to get? Yep. The struggle is real.

With that said, I’ve learned that at least for me, there’s no answer. You do what you feel is right. Each situation and each person is different. No magic formula.

Did I make a fool of myself last night?

Ugh this one sucks the big one. For those wild nights where we drank a little too much and things are fuzzy, we feel compelled to ask that horrible, anxiety-driven question, “Did I make a fool of myself last night?” Meanwhile, we cross our fingers and pray that the answer is, “No.”

Do you think I gained weight? Honestly?

These days, I’ve refrained from asking this question, because I know when I have gained weight or not. I don’t need an answer from my friends.

I used to ask this a lot though. Some of my friends would say no when I knew they were blatantly lying. While my closest friends would tell me the truth. And then of course it would ruin my night.

So, bottom line, just don’t ask that question. It puts everyone in an awkward position. No one wants to lie and no one wants to be the person to have to tell you, “Why yes. You actually have gained weight. START WORKING OUT AND STOP ORDERING PIZZA.”

Moral of the story is if you question your weight gain – then just do something about it.

Do I have BO?

Ok girls – stop pretending that you don’t ever let out bodily functions, you don’t poop, and you don’t smell. YOU’RE LYING TO YOURSELF AND THE WORLD.

So with that said, sometimes I do have BO. And it sucks when I am out and about and I’ve got no DO for the BO. Deodorant for the bodily odors.

So yes, I have asked my friends if I smelled. Especially if I am going on a date or something. We’ve even gone to the extent of hugging one another to decipher if I needed to make a quick trip to Walgreens or not.

Should I send this pic?

I am not admitting to ever sending a nude pic. Maybe I have. Maybe I have not.

But, I will say that often times girls send their naughty photos to their besties to get their approval before sending them to a guy. “Which one? Does this look OK? How are the undies? Is this too much?”

For example, I’ve had a friend send me an array of pictures to get my opinion on her booty, and of course I gave her my input. Looks great baby girl!

So, there ya go. Secret is out. Eleven things girls say or do – stuff we generally do not admit. Did you expect it? What do you do? 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s