There was a before, and there is a beyond

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in something “negative” that we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We have laser focus on this bad situation, person, or thing, and it seems like we will never feel better. Or that good cannot come out of what happened.

I’m the queen of dwelling. Reminiscing in something or someone and not being able to let it go. One of my favorite quotes, however, has really helped me. And it is so applicable to many areas of life.

“There was a before, and there is a beyond.”

But I liked him/her so much

Ok let’s be real. How many times have we (both women and men) been totally smitten for someone and thought this new person was going to be it. Or at least something more substantial than a week long fling? I’m for sure raising my hand on this one. GUILTY.

I get easily excited when I find someone that I am interested in. I transform into this giddy puppy dog and think about all of these rainbow and butterfly romantic things. Princess and prince charming shit. I get hopeful. And then? It does not pan out as I had imagined.

It sucks. And it’s hard.

But, look. There was a before, and there is a beyond.

Last Fall, I was head over heels for a guy. He was older, had his shit together, and had just moved back to Chicago after playing pro hockey. Instant chemistry, great dates, a ton in common, amazing sex. I was all goo goo ga ga for him.

But after several months, though things seemed like they were progressing to a more serious level, he said he was not at a time or place for a relationship. He did not want to commit.

On top of being sad, I felt pretty embarrassed. Here I was thinking I could see a future with this dude, and he could not even see a now.

Well, long story short, I got over him. And just like the quote, there were guys before him and there have been guys after. After X amount of time and after meeting someone else,  I never looked back.

Many of us are not  going to marry the person we are talking to at this very moment. So just have fun with it, and if and when it does not work out, let them go gracefully. Don’t have remorse, and don’t try to force something that is not meant to be. Realize that this is not the end of your world. You are not going to die. Earth does contain other great men and women. And you will meet someone else.

Oh and also? This will continue to happen, and you will feel like this again. Until you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.

I’ve gained weight and feel so gross

This one sucks just as much. To be honest, I fluctuate a lot. It might not be noticeable to everyone, but to me, it’s like day and night.

Some weeks, I am very  meticulous with my workouts and food and I feel like a hundred bucks. My selfies are on POINT, and I feel like I’m simply killin’ it.

Other times, you can find me skipping the gym, getting drunk munchies, and stuffing my face with deep dish. After a binge week or weekend like that, I feel like emotional and physical crap. My clothes are tighter, my face looks swollen, and I’m lethargic. Woof.

But what is the point of beating yourself up about weight gain? You’re not going to lose weight by feeling miserable that you don’t look as good as last week. And you’re certainly not going to shed those pounds by moping around.

Almost all of us have fluctuated. Whether we’ve been a victim of the fat looking arm picture or the booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere, many of us can relate. No one is perfect, and it is extremely difficult to be 100 percent consistent with our workouts and our eating.

So, when we gain a little bit of weight, we need to be kind to ourselves and accept/love our current body. We can’t punish ourselves for falling off the bandwagon a bit. We have to know that we will not always feel like this, and we will bounce back.

“There was a before, and there is a beyond.”

I feel so “off”

I don’t know about you, but just like my weight can fluctuate, so can my mood. Sometimes, I feel totally “on” and like everything is so fluid. I am saying all the right things, I feel totally comfortable, I’m emotionally connecting with people. I’m super happy, excited, giddy, and just all like, “I love life man!”

Other times? I wake up, and I’m all dark and cloudy. Not in the mood to talk to anyone, saying awkward things in conversation, agitated, anxious, maybe sad.

When I feel like this, I fall into the domino effect. One thing happens after another, and I can’t seem to catch a break. Then I start judging myself for feeling “off” which just makes me feel even worse.


“There was a before, and there is a beyond.” I have felt like this in the past, and I know I will feel good again.  Oh, and I also know that life is a a vicious cycle. There will be a time where I feel like shit again. Obviously.

Us humans are sensitive peeps, and of course our moods will change. Everything affects us – the environment, other people, our bodies, our thoughts, food. So when you feel “off”, just own it. Feel mad or sad or tired or anxious. And feel it at its full capacity. Just be in that present emotion without judgment and know that this too shall pass.

I’m so stressed out and busy

Relax. Stop. Inhale. Exhale.

You’ve been stressed out and busy before with a million bajillion things going on. And there will be a time when all of this chaos ends.

Just get through the day one to-do list item at a time. Don’t think about everything you have to do in an hour, right after work, tonight, tomorrow morning. Just think about what you have to do right now. And get it done.

Speaking of getting things done, I’ve got dinner to cook, a glass of wine to drink, and parents to call. So with that sad, some final last words. Live in the moment and know that life goes on. That you’ll be ok. And that this ain’t your first rodeo.


❤ Panda


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