Back in college, my friends – specifically Jen Addy – used to say, “Walk with a purpose Amanda!” I would be in la la land and not paying attention where I was going. Moving super slow.
Walk with a purpose was nice code for hurry the fuck up.
After living in Chicago for three and a half years now, I am proud to say that I am a changed woman. I most definitely walk with a purpose. And in fact, people who do not are the scum between my toes.
Below are five walkers that annoy the hell out of me.
The Slow L Walkers
The people who are super slow When the doors of the L open and it’s your stop to get off. You want to get the f out of the station and if you are like me and fashionably late to most things – it’s a gene I inherited I promise – then you most certainly want to do so quickly. The people who take their precious time or stand around text messaging are the wooooorst. Also, those who don’t move out of your way when you are trying to get off……ugh.
The Michigan Avenue Walkers
I love living in Streeterville, but oh my goodness can Michigan Avenue be annoying. No one knows how to walk with a purpose on that street! You get stuck behind families, selfie taking tourists, mobs of shoppers, and people asking you to sign a petition or something, which of course slows down your stride.
The Gym Walker
The person that slowly creeps up and walks in front of you and blocks your perfect mirror spot. C’mon! Standing in front of someone at the gym? That’s gym etiquette 101 buddy.
The Indecisive Food Buffet Walker
Ahhhh cringe! This one is a slow and painful death. First of all, whenever we are in the buffet line that means we are hungry. And when we are hungry and can’t get food, that means we are angry. And when we are hungry and angry? That’s hangry. And not a pretty thing. Please pick up your food and keep walking.
The Walkers that Don’t Move When you’re Running
Maybe I’m a running snob, but boy does it bug me when I am hitting my stride and pedestrians cramp my style. Like I know you hear my feet pounding on the pavement so can you please just do both of us a favor and gracefully move out of the way? Thanks.
Ok, I think I’m done for now. I know this blog was completely random but I feel like this is a common issue that we don’t vent about enough? Am I right? Please feel free to complain about your slow walking mishaps as well.